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The Regular Season Finale is Here !!!!

Updated: Jan 2

It all comes down to this for our remaining playoff hopefuls. One more attempt, one more opportunity, one last shot. We enter week thirteen with a lot at stake for all our teams. We have three teams locked into the post season and we have three eliminated. Now we need to figure out which of our four remaining teams will lock up the last three positions. With the tournament set to begin next week this is it for our teams. A full season of ups and downs comes too head this week. Lets take a look at what is on tap for the regular season finale.


I want to start this piece off with what is happening to the teams outside the playoff hunt. One of the most intriguing matchups of week thirteen is going to involve the teams at the bottom of the standings. The last Place Lick My Antonio Brown-Eye(3-9) is set to meet the 9th place Annexation of Puerto Rico(4-8). The loser of this matchup will punch their ticket to the first ever, week 16 Miss Elite Bowl. This team will have to sit and wait for the next two weeks to play out to see who they will meet as the other three non-playoff teams battle to stay out of that other spot in the bowl.

The Playoff Picture

Now we get into the important part of this article, all the clinching scenarios for our teams and what each team has at stake. I will list the current standings from one to seven and talk about what each team is looking to happen and not happen in the regular season finale.

Clinched Teams

#1 Cocoa Nuts

The defending champion enters week thirteen as the top team in the League currently sitting in first and holding a first round bye. However, they still have a lot to play for this week. The Champ needs a win to lock up the #1 seed. An Italy loss this week would also clinch the #1 seed for the champ. A win this week would also mean that Cocoa could play spoiler to division rival Beavers Love Wood, who are one of the four teams vying for a spot in the playoffs. As you could imagine they would love nothing more!!!

#2 Little Italy

The runner up to the throne last year finds themselves sitting as the #2 seed just behind Cocoa. The Italian has already locked up a first round bye with their win last week over Ballsackies. However, this weeks meeting between they and the third seed Dirty Sanchez holds some importance. A win for Italy and a Cocoa loss would send Italy to the #1 spot and knock Cocoa down to the #2 seed.

#3 The Dirt Sanchez Butt-Fumblers

Dirty enters the final week of the regular season looking to just play a bit of a spoiler. A win for Dirty would keep Italy in the #2 seed and one game away from a third meeting between the two franchises in the semi finals. Dirty can not improve nor hurt his position in the standings this week.

Bubble Teams

Now we get into the thick of things as we look at the four teams looking to clinch a spot and what they need to happen to get said spot.

#4 Beavers Love Wood

#5 Richard Feltersnatch

#6 Harry Ballsackies

#7 The SlamHogs

Week 13 Matchup

SlamHogs vs. Feltersnatch, Beavers vs Cocoa Nuts, Ballsackies vs My Ditka

If Feltersnatch wins matchup:

They, The Beavers, and Ballsackies are in no matter what else happens. Seeding would just depend on how they finish.

If SlamHogs, Ballsackies, and Beavers win:

Richard Feltersnatch would be eliminated. The Beavers would be the #4 Seed, The Ballsackies the #5 Seed, and the Hogs the #6 Seed.

If SlamHogs and Ballsackies win and the Beavers Lose:

The Beavers are eliminated if they have less/equal victory points compared to Feltersnatch. The Ballsackies would be the #4 Seed, The Hogs the #5 Seed, and Feltersnatch the #6 Seed. If they have more victory points then Feltersnatch then Feltersnatch is out. The Ballsackies would be the #4 Seed, The Hogs the #5 Seed, and the Beaver would fall to the #6 seed.

If the SlamHogs/Beavers Win and Ballsackies lose:

The Ballsackies are eliminated. The Beavers would be the #4 Seed, The Hogs would be the #5 Seed, and Feltersnatch would fall to the #6 Seed.

There it is in a nut shell The things we are looking for this week. Who is in and who is out? Can the SlamHogs finally secure their spot when it matters most? Will the Ballsackies seventh loss in a row spell doom for their season? Will the Beaver or Feltersnatch just miss out after being in the top six most of the year? Who will be headed towards the Miss Elite Bowl? The drama, the suspense, the excitement, the joy, the disappointment. All this and more when week 13 kicks off tomorrow!!