Updated: Dec 1, 2019
Week twelve is in the books and that playoff picture has become a little more clearer and the race for the final three spots are as close as it's been all season. This week we saw one more spot clinched and another teams hopes and dreams extinguished. Whos is in? Who is Out? Who is on the bubble? Let's get this party started and start the week twelve recap.
Dirty Sanchez Butt-Fumblers (7-5) VS. Richard Feltersnatch (6-6) *Game of the Week*
How about that Dirty Sanchez!!! Dirty came into the week as one of the hottest teams in the league and they were going head to head with the other hottest team in Feltersnatch. This was a good matchup and came down to Monday Night, and the game brought a 188.44 to 134.66 victory for Dirty. This win clinches the third seed for Dirty as well as extends their win streak to four in a row. A win or loss next week against Italy (8-4) will not hurt or help anything for Sanchez. On the other side Feltersnatch saw their five game winning streak and bid at tying the leagues win streak record end. Richard has to regroup as they go into the week 13 finale against a hungry SlamHogs (6-6) who is coming off a top weekly point performance. Feltersnatch currently is sitting at fifth in the standings and a win next week will lock them into the post season for the second year in a row.
Lick My Antonio Brown-Eye (3-9) VS. SlamHogs (6-6)
The Hogs entered this week twelve matchup in a must win as the Brown-Eye looked to play spoiler. In the end it was the Hogs that completely blew away the Brown-Eye with a 197.18 to 137.92 victory. The Hogs also locked up the two extra victory points which could be a deciding factor in locking up the final playoff spot next week. This moves the Hogs within striking distance next week to jump Feltersnatch (6-6) who they play in the standings. Check this if the Hogs win next week and the Ballsackies, and The beavers both lose the Hogs would move from 7th to 4th in the standings. This is how tight this playoff race is becoming. As for the Brown-Eye they must turn their attention to securing a win next week against the Annexation (4-8). There is a lot at stake in this one as the loser will head to the week 16 Miss Elite Bowl. Talk about a must win for both teams.
Little Italy (8-4) VS. Harry Ballsackies (6-6)
Italia è il mietitore. Translation Italy is the Reaper. The leader of the South came into this week already locked into the post season but they wanted more. A win would lock up a first round bye for them and their 189.40 to 90.93 victory over the Ballsackies did just that. The win leaves Italy with a two and two third quarter record their worst quarter of the year previously going 3-1 in the first two. Italy now turns their attention to week 13 where they meet the hot and surging Dirty Sanchez (7-5) who they beat back in week one. A win and Cocoa loss will potentially move Italy into the one seed. On the other side of this matchup we look to a Ballsackies team that is barely clinging to life. They have dropped their last six games after starting the season 6-0. The Ballsackies find themselves locked at a 6-6 record with three other teams. The team sitting behind them right now is hungry and coming off a top weekly point finish and that team is the SlamHogs. A win against My Ditka (5-7) next week will lock them into the post season but a loss puts them in serious jeopardy.
Beavers Love Wood (6-6) VS. My Ditka Got Your Gurley Off (5-7)
The Beavers came into this week twelve matchup with My Ditka looking to end their current losing streak but the struggle for the BLW continue. My Ditka pulled out the win defeating The Beaver 135.52 to 109.86. The loss here puts the Beaver in dangerous waters as one more loss could potentially knock them out of playoff contention and they have to go head to head next week with the #1 seed Cocoa Nuts (9-3). My Ditka entered the week clinging to life but even with a win this week and the best case scenario for next week My Ditka finds themselves mathematically eliminated. For the second season in a row one of the most promising teams of Elite to start the season falls just short. Next week the master of the funhouse can ruin another teams playoff dreams by playing spoiler to Harry Ballsackies (6-6) who have dropped their last six games.
Cocoa Nuts (9-3) VS. Annexation of Puerto Rico (4-8)
The champ is here. The champ is where? The champ is headed for a first round bye for the second year in a row when the playoffs kick off in two weeks. The 183.04 to 86.92 felony against the Annexation pushes the Cocoa ones winning streak to five games and a perfect third quarter record. Cocoa Nuts will look to play spoiler next week when they take on the Beavers (6-6) who are fighting for their lives to make the dance. Now we come to the Annexation who have disappointed after starting the year so hot. The Annexation now finds themselves mathematically eliminated from post season contention. What's next for the AOPR? The back of the underpants Brown-Eye (3-8) is what awaits in the regular season finale. That is not all because this game will have a lot of impact on the Miss Elite Competition. How so you ask well let me tell you. The loser of this meeting will head all the way to the week 16 Miss Elite Bowl for the honor of being shamed for the next year by the other members. Talk about a must win for the Annexation.
STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 12
(STANDINGS DETERMINED BY WINS, VICTORY POINTS, DIV. WINS, H2H,TOTAL POINTS)
1.) COCOA NUTS (9-3) (*) (F)
2.) LITTLE ITALY (8-4) (*) (F)
3.) DIRTY SANCHEZ BUTT-FUMBLERS (7-5) (*)
4.) BEAVERS LOVE WOOD (6-6)
5.) RICHARD FELTERSNATCH (6-6)
6.) HARRY BALLSACKIES (6-6)
7.) SLAMHOGS (6-6)
8.) MY DITKA GOT YOUR GURLEY OFF (5-7)
9.) ANNEXATION OF PUERTO RICO (4-8) (X)
10.) LICK MY ANTONIO BROWN-EYE (3-9) (X)
(*) - Clinched Playoff Berth
(F) - Clinched First Round Bye
(X) - Mathematically Eliminated