Updated: Jan 2
What in the hell was that? Week five was the wildest week of the 2019 season yet, with some monstrous performances. The second quarter kicked off with some major upsets which has changed the landscape of the Elite Fantasy Football League. A new force has awakened and they left a trail of destruction and a shattered league record in it's path to redemption. Who is this new force? How did your favorites do in this wild week? Is there anyone new in the top six? Lets answer all these questions as we recap what was a wild week five.
Dirty Sanchez Butt-Fumblers (1-4) V.S. The SlamHogs (2-3) *(Game of the Week) *
This weeks featured matchup was a divisional clash between two teams who were both looking to end current losing streaks, Dirty Sanchez (2) and SlamHogs (3). This was projected to be the closest game of the week with the Hogs taking the slight edge. It was in fact the SlamHogs who emerge victorious with a 158.71 to 146.68 victory to snap their three game skid. The Hogs were led to victory by strong performances from Kyler Murray (31.81) and Adam Thielen (36). Dirty Sanchez finally got something out of Sony Michel (22.30), but it wasn't enough to get first divisional win, or snap it's now three game losing streak.
Dirty Sanchez came into the week sitting on the bubble of the top six and this loss knocks them down the standings. The SlamHogs will now inch closer to the top six with this victory. Next week the SlamHogs (2-3) look to keep the momentum going as they take on a suddenly tough and dangerous Brown-Eye (2-3) team in a key divisional matchup. Dirty Sanchez (1-4) looks to end this losing streak when they take on division rival Richard Feltersnatch (1-4), who will also be looking to end their own three game losing streak.
Beavers Love Wood (2-3) V.S. My Ditka Got Your Gurley Off (2-3)
This matchup was projected as the second closest matchup of the week with the advantage going to the Beavers (63.3% Chance Of Winning). My Ditka had other plans as they sought to tell the computer to take it's 36.7 % chance of winning and shove it. My Ditka did just that upsetting the Beavers with a top three weekly score of 184.05 to 149.33. Michael Thomas gave My Ditka a big advantage this week as he rattled off 46.2 fantasy points. Strong showings from Allen Robinson(29.7), Calvin Ridley(21.8), and David Johnson(20.60) helped erect My Ditka over the Beaver. The Beaver started the week strong on Thursday night with top scores from Russell Wilson (43.03) and Cooper Kupp(28.70), which would ultimately be the highlights of their week.
My Ditka (2-3) will need to carry this momentum into week six as they have a date with the unbeaten powerhouse that is Harry Ballsackies (5-0). Beavers Love Wood (2-3) will look to get back on track as they take on defending champ Cocoa Nuts (4-1) in a key divisional matchup. BLW will be desperate for a win here as they have yet to win a game within the division, which could be key in deciding playoff teams.
Cocoa Nuts (4-1) V.S. Annexation of Puerto Rico (3-2)
In a game that featured two one loss teams from the North we saw the defending champ trail all weekend long just to gut it out and win it on Monday night with a score of 179.47 to 166.14. The champs team was mostly, well to be blunt, ass but was carried to victory by strong performances from Christian McCaffrey (51.7) and Chris Godwin (34.5). The AOPR put up a fight and looked strong with outings from Amari Cooper (49.6), Phillip Lindsay (26.7), and Patty Mahomes (26.9), but just wasn't enough to hand the champ it's second loss.
Cocoa Nuts now will move into second place with the win and the Annexation will fall to 4th in the standings as they currently are riding a two game losing streak. The Annexation (3-2) will look to snap said streak next week when they battle Little Italy (3-2), fresh of a loss of their own. Cocoa Nuts (4-1) will need to stay focused as they meet for the first time ever in the Elite Fantasy Football League division foe Beavers Love Wood (2-3). The Beavers will be motivated in this one as they seek their first win inside the tough North division.
Harry Ballsackies (5-0) V.S. Richard Feltersnatch (1-4)
Harry Ballsackies came into this week five matchup with the best record in the Elite Fantasy Football League not yet suffering a loss. Richard Feltersnatch came into this one riding a two game losing streak, and without star running back Saquon Barkley and star wide receiver Tyreek Hill, both out due to injury. Ballsackies were projected to win in this one and they did just that with a score of 185.99 to 162.15, extending their win total to five. The Ballsackies were led by Will Fuller and his insane three touchdown day which helped add to his 59.7 fantasy points. Ballsackies also were able to get 37.4 fantasy points out of Tom Brady. Feltersnatch got big games out of Josh Jacobs (30.30), and Tyler Boyd (32.30), but Mike Evans zero fantasy points hurt their bid at handing The Ballsackies their first loss of the season.
Harry Ballsackies (5-0) look to continue their winning ways next week as they take on My Ditka (2-3), hot off a top three performance. With another win the Ballsackies will tie the league record of six straight wins, currently held by the Annexation of Puerto Rico set in 2018. Richard Feltersnatch (1-4) looks to snap it's three game losing streak as they take on Dirty Sanchez (1-4), who is also riding a current three game losing streak. This will be a key matchup as both teams look to climb out of the basement and find their way back into contention.
Little Italy (3-2) V.S. Lick My Antonio Brown-Eye (2-3)
This matchup was projected to be the most lopsided of the week and it lived up to the billing. The thing is Little Italy was supposed to mop the floor with the Brown-Eye and his 27.6% chance of winning, and with star wide out Devante Adams being inactive, due to turf toe, seemed like a likely safe bet. One word WRONG!!! The Brown-Eye fresh off a week four, losing streak ending win was not ready to go back to the basement. Prior to the week's games the Brown-Eye traded Will Dissly for Courtland Sutton whose 23.20 points added to the, record breaking, weekly total for the Brown-Eye. Yes, you read that previous sentence correctly, the Brown-Eye shattered the previous weekly total points record held by My Ditka (222.75) from 2018 by 47.85 points on his way to a 270.6 to 177.37 win over Little Italy. This victory marks not only the second consecutive win for the Brown-Eye, but also marks the second consecutive top weekly score.
Little Italy didn't stand a chance as Lamar Jackson played like shat and put up a lousy 17.77 points which the Brown-Eye's D. Watson more then tripled with his 61 fantasy points. Le'veon Bell put up a weak 15.80 points, compared to the Brown-Eyes Aaron Jones 50.20, which more then tripled Bell's. The only positive coming out of week five for Little Italy was the continued good play of Dalvin Cook who put up a nice 30.80 fantasy points. Little Italy (3-2) will look to rebound as they head towards a week six date with The Annexation of Puerto Rico (3-2), who is also looking to rebound from a week five loss. The Brown-Eye (2-3) will look to stay red hot as they head into a week six divisional clash with the SlamHogs (2-3) who is also hot off a win, ending a three game skid.
STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 5
(STANDINGS DETERMINED BY WINS, VICTORY POINTS, DIV. WINS, H2H,TOTAL POINTS)
1.) HARRY BALLSACKIES (5-0)
2.) COCOA NUTS (4-1)
3.) LITTLE ITALY (3-2)
4.) ANNEXATION OF PUERTO RICO (3-2)
5.) BEAVERS LOVE WOOD (2-3)
6.) LICK MY ANTONIO BROWN-EYE (2-3)
7.) MY DITKA GOT YOUR GURLEY OFF (2-3)
8.) SLAMHOGS (2-3)
9.) RICHARD FELTERSNATCH (1-4)
10.) DIRTY SANCHEZ BUTT-FUMBLERS (1-4)
My Ditka +3
Cocoa Nuts +2
Took Step Back
The Annexation -1
Little Italy -1
Dirty Sanchez -4